One of the key principles of the Law of Attraction is to stay focused on positive feelings regardless of outer circumstances. If you are faced with circumstances that are angering or frightening you, it is said, withdraw your attention from what is and focus on good feeling thoughts. I don’t know about you but staying focused on anything is about as easy for me as it is for a cat in bird sanctuary, never mind swapping negative thoughts for positive ones. And it really takes a nose dive when I’m fired up. I discovered something, though, that worked for me and it might work for you too.
When I finally took my writing career seriously, I searched for a book to help me hone my skills and came across a gem called Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott. Not only is it chock full of excellent advice for a writer at any stage of the game, it’s laced with wisdom and humorous insight about the business of daily living. In one chapter Lamott advises writers to think of a scene in one-inch squares, drawing their readers into such fine detail they can feel and smell and hear the character’s every move. It was stellar instruction at the time but not too long ago, it returned as a lightening bolt of inspiration when I couldn’t get out of my own way.
I was in a very comfortable place in my life. Though I received some income from free lance writing gigs, I needed a back up plan so I took a job as a sales counselor with a new-home builder. I loved the job so much I was beginning to think I should chuck the whole writing thing and become a real estate super star. The community I worked in was buzzing with growth and my sales were ticking up. Out of the blue, a new manager plucked me from this thriving community and transferred me to one where the activity had stalled. I was so angry I wanted to quit but good advice and good sense prevailed.
For days I stewed, looking out of the window of my new sales office and resenting everything I laid my eyes on. Nothing I had learned about the importance of good feeling thoughts was kicking in and I looped around and around about the injustice of it all. Focus on the positive aspects, I kept telling myself, and though I could do it for a little while, at the end of the day I was right back where I started. Negative thoughts are energy thieves and I was nearing exhaustion.
One afternoon, a strange looking bird perched on a bush outside my window. I stared at her and she stared right back, then bounced up to the windowsill and stayed long enough for me to have an AHA moment…bird by bird…one-inch squares. What if I just tried focusing on what it feels like to release resistance. That’s all, just release resistance. Immediately I felt the tension subside. For the rest of the day, every time I had a negative thought - I got a rotten deal…this fool is taking too long at the check out…she took my parking space – I batted it right out of the park like hall of famer. It didn’t take long at all for things to change and by now you might be guessing the end of the story. Sales started buzzing once again.
The value of thinking in one-inch squares is twofold; a single good feeling thought is more manageable and easy to focus on than trying to digest an entire philosophy and second, you literally inch into a new perspective. Start small and you can have big results.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
You can live your dream
Recently, I was having dinner with a close friend when he mentioned he was still struggling with the next step for his career. For more than a decade, he had owned a successful women’s jewelry and accessory store in a tony part of town. But between the economy and his waning interest in running a retail business, the shop had been closed for two years and he hadn’t worked since. I reminded him he possessed an extraordinary talent for designing his own jewelry, some of which I owned. "Just do it," I nudged, "you don’t need to open another store, you can sell your designs on the Internet." When we parted, he was still in limbo about his future, hestitant to embrace his passion and natural talent.
Having hit a crossroad with their career, many of my clients come to me with the same sort of challenge. On a deeper level, they long for a sense of purpose. "What am I supposed to do with my life?" they ask. "When is my life going to take off?" Well, I have some bad news for you. No psychic or counselor or well meaning friend can ever provide that answer. It lies within your heart, the seat of your passion, and you have to identify it and claim it. I know because I struggled with the same questions myself.
When I was in grade school I was a stupendous failure in any left brain subject. I didn’t know it then but I also had dyslexia. Not only was I doomed in math and science, when I found a subject I did love, I had to read the text two or three times to comprehend it. The teachers put me in the "slow" class and my self-esteem plummeted. I thought I was stupid but one thing I knew for certain, I excelled at writing. Secretly, I longed to have a career as a writer but never had the confidence to pursue it and so for many years, I plodded along in lack luster jobs.
Right before my 40th birthday, my world unraveled. Another mediocre job had come to an end and I found myself standing outside a restaurant with a friend, sobbing from my inner core. "I can’t do this anymore," I cried, "I can’t bear the idea of finding ‘just another job’ and I’ve given up hope of ever finding a career that gives me purpose." My friend did her best to console me but my heart was broken. I went home and cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning I had an overwhelming sense of peace. I couldn’t explain it but I felt things really were going to get better. Shortly afterward, I saw a want ad for a society columnist for the local newspaper. I had no training, no experience and no business applying for it but I knew that job was mine. I crafted my resume to highlight my scant writing successes, attached a picture of myself and hand delivered the package. As I was standing at the front desk of the newspaper, one of the writers on the society team happened to walk out. The receptionist introduced us and we liked each other immediately. That following Monday I was called in for an interview and a week later I was hired. I’ve been writing – for profit and with confidence – ever since.
Looking back, I realize why that particular turning point was so profoundly different from others I’d experienced. The desperate pain I felt at having run out of all options actually pulverized my fear of not being good enough to go for what I really wanted. I literally had nothing to lose and once the resistance was gone, the opportunity appeared.
Now, you don’t have to go through my histrionics to find your purpose. Start right now by thinking about how you would spend your time if money or training or parental influences had nothing to do with it. What do you love to do? Debbie Fields loved baking cookies, Jay Leno loved making his mom laugh, Bill Gates couldn’t get enough of that new thing called computer science. You don’t have to set the world on fire or make headlines, you only have to find what makes your heart sing and start right there, on the bull’s eye of your passion. It may begin as just a hobby but I promise you this; your positive feelings will beget more positive feelings and the Law of Attraction will start to deliver all the people, opportunities and circumstances you need to turn your most treasured dream into a reality.
Having hit a crossroad with their career, many of my clients come to me with the same sort of challenge. On a deeper level, they long for a sense of purpose. "What am I supposed to do with my life?" they ask. "When is my life going to take off?" Well, I have some bad news for you. No psychic or counselor or well meaning friend can ever provide that answer. It lies within your heart, the seat of your passion, and you have to identify it and claim it. I know because I struggled with the same questions myself.
When I was in grade school I was a stupendous failure in any left brain subject. I didn’t know it then but I also had dyslexia. Not only was I doomed in math and science, when I found a subject I did love, I had to read the text two or three times to comprehend it. The teachers put me in the "slow" class and my self-esteem plummeted. I thought I was stupid but one thing I knew for certain, I excelled at writing. Secretly, I longed to have a career as a writer but never had the confidence to pursue it and so for many years, I plodded along in lack luster jobs.
Right before my 40th birthday, my world unraveled. Another mediocre job had come to an end and I found myself standing outside a restaurant with a friend, sobbing from my inner core. "I can’t do this anymore," I cried, "I can’t bear the idea of finding ‘just another job’ and I’ve given up hope of ever finding a career that gives me purpose." My friend did her best to console me but my heart was broken. I went home and cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning I had an overwhelming sense of peace. I couldn’t explain it but I felt things really were going to get better. Shortly afterward, I saw a want ad for a society columnist for the local newspaper. I had no training, no experience and no business applying for it but I knew that job was mine. I crafted my resume to highlight my scant writing successes, attached a picture of myself and hand delivered the package. As I was standing at the front desk of the newspaper, one of the writers on the society team happened to walk out. The receptionist introduced us and we liked each other immediately. That following Monday I was called in for an interview and a week later I was hired. I’ve been writing – for profit and with confidence – ever since.
Looking back, I realize why that particular turning point was so profoundly different from others I’d experienced. The desperate pain I felt at having run out of all options actually pulverized my fear of not being good enough to go for what I really wanted. I literally had nothing to lose and once the resistance was gone, the opportunity appeared.
Now, you don’t have to go through my histrionics to find your purpose. Start right now by thinking about how you would spend your time if money or training or parental influences had nothing to do with it. What do you love to do? Debbie Fields loved baking cookies, Jay Leno loved making his mom laugh, Bill Gates couldn’t get enough of that new thing called computer science. You don’t have to set the world on fire or make headlines, you only have to find what makes your heart sing and start right there, on the bull’s eye of your passion. It may begin as just a hobby but I promise you this; your positive feelings will beget more positive feelings and the Law of Attraction will start to deliver all the people, opportunities and circumstances you need to turn your most treasured dream into a reality.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Feel as if it already exists
In my last post I suggested that when you visualize a desired result, it has to be believable to you. But what is meant by believable? It’s what feels right and logic has little to do with it. Deductive reasoning, while necessary to execute plans, is derived from what currently exists. Your new creation is yet to be. It is conceived in thought and born through feeling. Find what feels right to you then think of nothing else.
Years ago, I was living in California and wanted to move back to my hometown in Cincinnati, Ohio. I had lived in various parts of the country for more than two decades, away from family and friends, and after losing my mom I felt the need to spend more quality time with dad. One Christmas while visiting him, he suggested we look at the new condominiums being built within a mile from where he lived.
The community was lovely. Winding streets were bordered by trees and a city park, and the condos were within easy walking distance to every store and service I would need to live there comfortably. As we drove in, I wondered if I could even afford to live there. Still, we met with the sales counselor to discuss possibilities. As she was describing the floor plans a light bulb seemed to go off. "You need to see this condo," she said. "The buyer just cancelled and it’s nearly finished. It might be perfect for you."
Sure enough it was. The space was twice the size of any apartment I had ever lived in, full of light and facing the woods. I was excited, very excited, but contained my enthusiasm. I couldn’t see how the pieces would come together, how things could possibly move quickly enough for me to own this perfect home. I would need to find work, break my lease, get a loan, pack, and move across country - all within a matter of weeks. Yet I could feel myself living in that space, shopping in nearby stores, meeting dad for dinner, and celebrating special occasions with family and friends whenever I wanted.
As soon as I returned to California, I called my manager and asked if there were a possibility for a transfer. Our company had reps in every major city but I knew the position in Cincinnati was filled. When she called the next day she skipped right past hello and asked, "Can you be there in three weeks?" The rep had just resigned. I called dad immediately and he rushed to the condo sales office with a deposit on the home I so vividly imagined living in. As he was signing the paperwork, another customer walked in with a deposit for the condo that, minutes before, had become mine. My landlord released the lease, I qualified for the loan and three weeks later I was living and working in Cincinnati.
Why after more than two decades of giving lip service to ‘maybe one day returning home’ did this dramatic and effortless shift occur? Because I was living there before I was living there. Ignited by the passion of feeling it real, I had blasted myself out of wishful thinking and into creation. If I had stopped long enough to become logical, the dream that was spinning into reality, and fueled by the Law of Attraction (assembling all cooperative components), would have quickly dissolved.
Understand that no matter the dream, thinking about it is just the first step. When we add feeling to the intended result we begin to mobilize the energy that creates universes. Mind, positive male energy, and heart, receptive female energy, come together in a marriage of thought and feeling and the desired result is a certainty. That is how literally everything comes into being, from humans to galaxies. That is how miracles happen.
What do you really want? Define it (thought) then Divine it (feeling). There isn’t anything you can’t be, do or have.
Years ago, I was living in California and wanted to move back to my hometown in Cincinnati, Ohio. I had lived in various parts of the country for more than two decades, away from family and friends, and after losing my mom I felt the need to spend more quality time with dad. One Christmas while visiting him, he suggested we look at the new condominiums being built within a mile from where he lived.
The community was lovely. Winding streets were bordered by trees and a city park, and the condos were within easy walking distance to every store and service I would need to live there comfortably. As we drove in, I wondered if I could even afford to live there. Still, we met with the sales counselor to discuss possibilities. As she was describing the floor plans a light bulb seemed to go off. "You need to see this condo," she said. "The buyer just cancelled and it’s nearly finished. It might be perfect for you."
Sure enough it was. The space was twice the size of any apartment I had ever lived in, full of light and facing the woods. I was excited, very excited, but contained my enthusiasm. I couldn’t see how the pieces would come together, how things could possibly move quickly enough for me to own this perfect home. I would need to find work, break my lease, get a loan, pack, and move across country - all within a matter of weeks. Yet I could feel myself living in that space, shopping in nearby stores, meeting dad for dinner, and celebrating special occasions with family and friends whenever I wanted.
As soon as I returned to California, I called my manager and asked if there were a possibility for a transfer. Our company had reps in every major city but I knew the position in Cincinnati was filled. When she called the next day she skipped right past hello and asked, "Can you be there in three weeks?" The rep had just resigned. I called dad immediately and he rushed to the condo sales office with a deposit on the home I so vividly imagined living in. As he was signing the paperwork, another customer walked in with a deposit for the condo that, minutes before, had become mine. My landlord released the lease, I qualified for the loan and three weeks later I was living and working in Cincinnati.
Why after more than two decades of giving lip service to ‘maybe one day returning home’ did this dramatic and effortless shift occur? Because I was living there before I was living there. Ignited by the passion of feeling it real, I had blasted myself out of wishful thinking and into creation. If I had stopped long enough to become logical, the dream that was spinning into reality, and fueled by the Law of Attraction (assembling all cooperative components), would have quickly dissolved.
Understand that no matter the dream, thinking about it is just the first step. When we add feeling to the intended result we begin to mobilize the energy that creates universes. Mind, positive male energy, and heart, receptive female energy, come together in a marriage of thought and feeling and the desired result is a certainty. That is how literally everything comes into being, from humans to galaxies. That is how miracles happen.
What do you really want? Define it (thought) then Divine it (feeling). There isn’t anything you can’t be, do or have.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Live in a state of certainty
While visiting friends in Arizona, I had the pleasure of reading for several of my regular clients. Though many are ardent students of the Law of Attraction, some were frustrated over their inability to manifest certain desires. These certain desires also turned out to be desires they had longed for most, if not all, of their life. So the question kept occurring, if the Law of Attraction is so precise, why doesn't it work for everything?
The Law of Attraction – Ask, Receive, Allow - always works, no exceptions. You ask through your desire and Source energy responds immediately. In fact, simultaneously. The last step in the three-part process is to Allow. It sounds simple enough but this is the juncture where anyone who has yet to see their desires manifest experiences frustration. The key to attracting anything we truly desire is making the distinction between allowing our desire to come forward and waiting for the time it arrives.
When we allow our desire to come forward, we accept that what we have asked for is already manifested. We live in a state of certainty, very much like ordering a book from Amazon.com and confidently assuming it will delivered to our doorstep. There is a knowing, an unshakable faith, and no other action is necessary. Focus stays in the present moment and what is desired manifests into the visible world as soon the Law of Attraction assembles all the necessary elements.
When we wait, time and separation become a factor... now, then, here, there. The powerful, magnetic force of the Law of Attraction dissipates when we acknowledge ourselves in one place as we ask, and imagine ourselves in another place in time when we receive. Realization of the desire becomes a waiting game and so it remains in the future…when I get the money, when I find my mate, when I have a new car, etc. Because the energy is vibrating in two places, Law of Attraction cannot deliver the desire anymore than Amazon.com could deliver a book to an address that doesn’t exist.
This gap between the desire and its manifestation can trip up the best of us. So then, how can we observe what is in the moment - the lack of what is desired - and see ourselves as having it without toggling between the present and the future? One of my favorite tools to stay focused on the present moment comes from the Abraham-Hicks material: tell your story for the sheer pleasure of the story. In doing so, the intention is not to get anything, rather it is to experience the joy of already having it. Let’s take an example.
Suppose you need a car. In the time-space model, you might create a vision board with pictures of the car of your dreams, or write and paste affirmations around your house. Though these tools can be helpful, as explained above the desire can become objectified and easily slip into future tense. In the tell-your-story model, you imagine yourself telling your new story to a trusted friend. "I love driving my new car! The interior is so luxurious I feel rich every time I get behind the wheel. And talk about a quiet, smooth ride! I just glide over the road as if I'm traveling on air." Of course you'll add your own details, but you get the idea. It's all about feeling the feeling of having it in the moment.
Whatever you choose to call forward, make sure it feels believable to you (more about this later) and have fun creating it!
The Law of Attraction – Ask, Receive, Allow - always works, no exceptions. You ask through your desire and Source energy responds immediately. In fact, simultaneously. The last step in the three-part process is to Allow. It sounds simple enough but this is the juncture where anyone who has yet to see their desires manifest experiences frustration. The key to attracting anything we truly desire is making the distinction between allowing our desire to come forward and waiting for the time it arrives.
When we allow our desire to come forward, we accept that what we have asked for is already manifested. We live in a state of certainty, very much like ordering a book from Amazon.com and confidently assuming it will delivered to our doorstep. There is a knowing, an unshakable faith, and no other action is necessary. Focus stays in the present moment and what is desired manifests into the visible world as soon the Law of Attraction assembles all the necessary elements.
When we wait, time and separation become a factor... now, then, here, there. The powerful, magnetic force of the Law of Attraction dissipates when we acknowledge ourselves in one place as we ask, and imagine ourselves in another place in time when we receive. Realization of the desire becomes a waiting game and so it remains in the future…when I get the money, when I find my mate, when I have a new car, etc. Because the energy is vibrating in two places, Law of Attraction cannot deliver the desire anymore than Amazon.com could deliver a book to an address that doesn’t exist.
This gap between the desire and its manifestation can trip up the best of us. So then, how can we observe what is in the moment - the lack of what is desired - and see ourselves as having it without toggling between the present and the future? One of my favorite tools to stay focused on the present moment comes from the Abraham-Hicks material: tell your story for the sheer pleasure of the story. In doing so, the intention is not to get anything, rather it is to experience the joy of already having it. Let’s take an example.
Suppose you need a car. In the time-space model, you might create a vision board with pictures of the car of your dreams, or write and paste affirmations around your house. Though these tools can be helpful, as explained above the desire can become objectified and easily slip into future tense. In the tell-your-story model, you imagine yourself telling your new story to a trusted friend. "I love driving my new car! The interior is so luxurious I feel rich every time I get behind the wheel. And talk about a quiet, smooth ride! I just glide over the road as if I'm traveling on air." Of course you'll add your own details, but you get the idea. It's all about feeling the feeling of having it in the moment.
Whatever you choose to call forward, make sure it feels believable to you (more about this later) and have fun creating it!
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